NO ONE! One thing I’ve thought about writing was a “How the Dork can have a chance with the Princess” sort of help book. This is one part that I’VE NEVER had a problem with, being a clean-freak and all (Soap is my best friend! Showers ROCK! Cleanliness is next to Zenliness! One more: I ALWAYS wash my hands before playing one of my game consoles. 4 Real!), but I can just imagine the many nerds who’d have a chance with meeting a nice girl if they at least didn’t smell like crusty pond scum on a warthog’s rump.
(This fellow probably smells like rhino feet after a long workout on the treadmill)Everyone reading this has to have some sort of geek/nerd/dork in themselves, but that’s perfectly cool. I’m a huge Star Wars/Sci-fi fan, I read Marvel comics, and most of all I’m a self-pronounced Gamer, and if you’re reading this you are probably up-to-date about gaming too. However, I know you can think of times you’ve been in a game store, a video rental place, or the book shop only to have a greasy nerd stand WAY too close to you WHO REEKS with his nasty funk of BO.
Listen smelly geeks, you could have a chance with the opposite sex if you didn’t offend their nostrils before you repel them with Ewok-related trivia. Honestly, I’ve seen too many D&D’ers, Dragon Ball Z groupies and Max-Level Tauren raiders who sit on the romantic sidelines because they SMELL like cow-people…
Do yourselves a favor- Bathe every day! Brush your freakin’ hair! Use a body spray/deodorant!
Not only will you be less of a disgusting burden to stand behind in the Gamestop line while you haggle trading in your ancient Game Boy Pokémon collection, but the ladies LOVE IT when their man smells good. I’ve been using Axe’s Kilo brand for about 9 months now, and when I put on the spray/body wash, I can tell you from personal experience that it drives She-Zenek WILD. :P I used further experimentation with Axe products too, but the Axe Shampoo Dual product has no further effect on She-Zenek. L Ah, well. It’s a trial and error thing. The funniest thing about my mini-rant is that I’ve never met a stinky Rare fan… I wonder why that is? I believe it’s a law if you work in a comic book shop you must have visible green stink lines emanating from your being in Florida.
Not only will you be less of a disgusting burden to stand behind in the Gamestop line while you haggle trading in your ancient Game Boy Pokémon collection, but the ladies LOVE IT when their man smells good. I’ve been using Axe’s Kilo brand for about 9 months now, and when I put on the spray/body wash, I can tell you from personal experience that it drives She-Zenek WILD. :P I used further experimentation with Axe products too, but the Axe Shampoo Dual product has no further effect on She-Zenek. L Ah, well. It’s a trial and error thing. The funniest thing about my mini-rant is that I’ve never met a stinky Rare fan… I wonder why that is? I believe it’s a law if you work in a comic book shop you must have visible green stink lines emanating from your being in Florida.
I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about, and I’m SO not being sexist here, as I’ve met stanky dorky women too! I remember in middle school this one girl who was very interested in me, and all I could think of was how her breath smelled like a bucket of chum and mayonnaise left in the sun for a few hours. I’m not saying that Jaws wouldn’t have been turned on, but still- BRUSH YOUR TEETH TOO! Man, it sure feels odd to have to tell such a smart, imaginative, and talented sub-group of people to take care of personal hygiene if they desire human interaction. Know why people like me & I have my very own She-Zenek? It’s not just because I’m nice, smart & creative, it’s also because I don’t STINK. :P Have a very wonderful Easter, and may you find your own special scent!
