The Blog of Zen

PolarClock is Cool.

2009-05-15T23:06:00.002-04:00

Hey guys! It's worth a try- It's a free and very fun to watch screensaver from Pixelbreaker. Totally custom to your tastes, and easy to use, why not try the circular calender for yourself for free and everything?

http://blog.pixelbreaker.com/polarclock/

Have a great weekend,

-Zenek

Sorry 4 Another Comic-Based Post...

2009-05-11T22:06:00.003-04:00

But I hope some of you will get a kick out of this: Bet you didn't know that I wrote a pair of guest comics for online comic "Creature Cantina"!

http://www.creaturecantina.com/

It's not a big shocker that I'm a Star Wars fan, and particularly the alien residents of that galaxy far, far away. The Cantina scene from Star Wars: A New Hope was one of my all-time favorite movie scenes, and this site does a great job lampooning the iconic scene from an American classic.

^(Ketwol)

See the two comics I wrote below, and I hope you like 'em!

http://www.creaturecantina.com/thecantina/year07.html

From here, click on the links for "9-17-08" and "3-07-07" for my ventures into Star Wars hilarity! One you'll get if you know your Star Wars aliens, and the other's pretty self explanitory.
Enjoy and see you mid-week!

-Zenek

Asirra:Killing Bots with Kitties!

2009-05-08T23:01:00.004-04:00

Hey everyone! I wanted to give our regular readers a bit of a head's up about a certain feature I hope to have installed onto the main site that will prevent bots from spamming the forums.

This is Asirra, a free CAPTCHA created by Microsoft for just such an instance. It uses a very simple method of bot-stopping action which is also very easy for a human to use! (I KNOW you know that person who asks you to read the blob of swirly mixed numbers & letters CATCHA's)

To bypass the Asirra program as a human user, you must select all of the photos of Cats, and NOT DOGS. Bots just see photo-files, and humans can clearly see which images are kitties and which are puppies. Killing evil bots with baby animals is the wave of the future! Plans for the duckling launcher and turtle cannon are pending, thanks.

Be sure to read more about Asirra here, and if you want you can try it out for yourself!

http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/um/redmond/projects/asirra/default.aspx

Have a wonderful weekend, and I can't wait to get Asirra up and running! Oh! Nearly forgot the best part! Asirra uses the photos of animals who need to be adopted, thus raising awareness for the animals who need a home. Maybe our little Rare-Shrine will save at least one pet? Who knows, but that's still pretty awesome. :P

Rock on, everyone!

-Zenek

Alligator Strips are Good!

2009-05-06T22:10:00.004-04:00

About Monday? Being completely honest here, I forgot. :( Best I can do is give my complete sorries to all. I'll make it up to you today though!

For some reason, for the past few months I've been wanting to try more and more "exotic" foods. Being lactose intolerant SUCKS and with the way the global food market is set up, MANY processed food contains some milk/lactose derived product. Now I admit to being a sugar-addict, and that all of my teeth are sweet teeth, but I've had the most pulling cravings for meat...

I'm not talking any meat here, although I really like chicken, turkey and beef, but I want to try more unusual animals for lunch. For example, many years ago I went an hour South of home to Saint Augustine, FL. It's the oldest town in America you know! ;) Anyhoo, I stopped by this nice outdoor eatery and had a nice plate of fried alligator strips and french fries. It was pretty nice, and they actually DO taste like chicken!

I'm SO tempted to order something online just to satisfy the carnivore in me so I can get back to scarfing apple pie, giant chewy nerds (Try them, they're awesome!) and oreos. Doing some research, I've found ways to order meat from the following animals:

Rabbit, Turtle, Zebra, Ostrich, Emu, Emo*, Eland, Llama, Black Bear, Buffalo, Deer, Iguana, Python, Rattlesnake, Shark, Yak, Kangaroo, and for a paultry $3,000 you can order 10 lbs. of Lion Chops!

SIMBA- It's what's for dinner.

Still can't decide if I'm even GOING to order some unorthodox animal flesh, but I'm kinda leaning toward the duck, goose, deer, and ostrich area. Hmm... Wish me luck that I'll find a nice addition to my daily grind of chicken-chicken-chicken-chicken... "Eh? I'm out of chicken? ... I guess I'll buy some turkey now."

For more info on this sort of thing, check out these sites. It's pretty cool stuff!

http://www.exoticmeats.com/home.aspx

http://www.fossilfarms.com/

http://www.1-800-exoticmeats.com/

MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMm..... Siiiiiiimbaaaaa.... *Drools*

-Zenek

*But I hear they taste disturbing...

National Free Comic Book Day!

2009-05-01T22:42:00.002-04:00

Being a huge fan of all things gaming, it's kind of a pain when you take a step back and realize that this art is more than likely the most corporate of all artforms. If we DO get a freebie, (especially for a console), it's more than likely rubbish unfortunately. Wouldn't it be nice to get a piece of entertainment and art for... FREE?

(Hope I can get a copy of this one, this'll probably be the most popular thing at the give-aways!)

I've gotten into comics in the past few years, and I'm finally going to be able to take advantage of National Free Comic Book Day! It's always the first Saturday of May, and I've had to work through the past several of those. Unfortunately for me, that usually means all the "good" stuff's been snagged ahead of time. Bummer. In addition to the newest issues of Thunderbolts & Dark Avengers, I'll probably walk out of the local dusty-arse comic shop with a bag full of goodies.

(Best Spiderman series, EVER.)

One of the cooler things I got last year was a copy of Atomic Robo, it's a cool and funny story involving a super-hero robot from some obscure publisher. Looks like I'll have a chance to get another free one this year too! I'm going to try to nab the free Avengers, Star Wars Clone Wars, and hopefully find something new I might wanna keep reading. That's the fun with Free Comic Book Day, you might find something you never knew existed and really enjoy it!

(Gonna snag this one tomorrow. Dinosaurs & Robots go together like jellybeans and soda. I can't be the only sugar-addict here, eh?)

I'm a regular at my local shop, so they're probably going to toss something cool at me this year as they have before. ;) Wish me luck, and you should really look into your local comic shop to see if FCBD is being properly celebrated there. I never thought that Dark Avengers would be SO GOOOOOOD....

(Love my Thunderbolts, HATE Moon Knight. If Venom & Krew wanna kill off MK, I'm cool with that. :D )

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Things I notice...

2009-04-29T23:08:00.003-04:00

I can't help but ponder the many great mysteries of the universe in my daily life, and here's a handfull of "Things" that make me wonder:

Why are so very few foods blue?

Unless you count food-colored food like Kool-Aid and "Blue-Raspberry" flavored food (Raspberries aren't blue, people!), not many foods are sky-colored. All a part of God's plan I suppose...

On my high-protien diet, I noticed that my Cliff Bar of the day was labeled as "Chocolate Brownie" Duh. How many brownies have YOU eaten that AREN'T CHOCOLATE RELATED?

Regarding Microsoft's control over potentially offensive GamerTags, someone on Kotaku stated that "Heterosexuality is a popular assumption. Homosexuality is considered an alternative. A straight male doesn't have to go out of his way to let women know that he is straight. "

http://kotaku.com/5232808/how-not-to-address-homosexuality-in-gaming

Why the Hell would a gay person have a need to go out of his/her/it's way to let anyone know it's gay- ON AN ONLINE CONSOLE?! If it's labeled by Microsoft offensive for someone to write something in their profile about their sexual preferences, that's perfectly fine. It's not a dating service, not a soapbox, and not everyone accepts homosexuality. Get over it.

If Microsoft went about banning people for openly being what they physically ARE, like Asian, wheel chair bound, or really tall, that would be an unforgiveable abomination. People choose their food, clothing, sexuality and Pokemon like so many other things in life. Speaking of that...

Why have Pokemon gone more and more geometric over the years?

I loved designs like Kingler, Nidoking and Pinsir, but since the Jewled Game Boy Advance editions I've noticed that creatures like Groudon, Sharpedo and Banette are too "Shapely". I really thought it was cool to have monster-like MONSTERS to beat the crap out of other monsters. I don't hate the new pokemon or anything, Shedinja's REALLY cool! (No, I'm serious!) It's just been bugging me that the Pokemon series has been in need of an overhaul of the entire set-up for a LONG TIME NOW.

Why haven't you downloaded Banjo-Tooie for Xbox Live? :P I did!

See you all on Friday, and look below to see if I've gotten the Dragonfly Lawn Care cards up...

Dragonfly Lawn Care

2009-04-27T23:32:00.006-04:00

Hey everyone! If it feels like this post is rushed, it kinda is... I've been SO BUSY lately, and I'm pretty frazzled. :( On the upside, it's not becuase I'm not getting work! I do freelance graphic design work, and I snagged a deal with a local lawn care service to do their advertising. I went ahead and worked with the client and went through several stages of business card transformation. See how I progressed from concept-card to final product! (It might help if you read upward from the bottom photo, and keep in mind that there are many other color combos I've made for most of these card variants, so if you feel the need for more, let me know!)

This one's the final kut. My client picked the deep green (with my help) to back up the idea it's a lawn-tending service, and the dragon fly really pops off the card. He wanted simple, and he got it. Pretty nice though, eh? When they arrive in the mail, I'll have to show them off! :)

This was near the end of the process, and a major change happened at this point. Why? I forget, but I aim to please! It was down to the Deep Blue color above and the final fresh-cut-grass green that made the final product. Looks nice colorwise, eh?

After some consideration, the client wanted me to loose the lines and make the dragonfly smaller, and make the company title bigger. Not too bad, and he's starting to choose some colors that tickle his fancy. Cool!

This was a bit of a leap to a much closer to done card. The color choice was a real pull for the client, as he LOVED the primary yellow for the bug. I liked the cross-lines and font styles and colors I played with too. I made so many color versions of this design... But this one was most important to progressing the card I'd say.

Do you know how tough it is to find a half-way decent image of a dragonfly to use? No? Get on it then. This was one of a bunch of odd-ball concept cards I threw together to get an idea of what the client wanted. No color, it's all about placement, imagery and text size/style. Other than explaining that to the client, the most important thing I got was: "No plant!" :P

Yep, one of the things that the Mighty Zenek is, is a free-lance Graphic Designer.
Anyone need me to make something pretty for their buisiness? Eh?

Go, Gregg- GO!

2009-04-24T13:37:00.007-04:00

HEY! If you thought I was off lolly-gagging about last Wed, you're WRONG. I was on Pinata Island pain-stakingly re-creating the London Marathon in a realistic simulation for Gregg (the Bonboon) Mayles. After I set up a Purple Paradise with all purple (or mostly purple) Pinatas and plant-life, I had Gregg run the 26 Pinometer Marathon, and see for yourself what happens!

Early morning before the marathon with Gregg Bonboon getting to the starting line. Zenek the Purple Pieenna and Biohazard3 the Plum (Undead- See bolts in neck) Cinnamonkey wait at the finishline, and it seems like Zenek's resting his eyes...

Looks like Gregg's ready for his big run through the Purple Paradise!

Run, Gregg, Past all those Purple Posers!

Don't worry, Gregg! It's just a small detour! Keep at it!

Good 'ol Zenek's cheering on for our Hero! Where the heck's Biohazard3 going?

Lookit Gregg go!!!

The entire Island's cheering for him now!

Gregg for the win!!!

And after a LONG DAY of running, Gregg gets his 1st place ribbon of AWESOMENESS while all of his friends cheer for him! YAY!

Best of Luck on Sunday! I'm cheering for you man! ;) Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!!

PS. PLEASE click on all of the Photos to view them in a much larger ratio. I worked hard to get good ones, and Pinatas don't like to work with the Photographer... :P

Trying to Gain Pounds, Lost 5 Today!

2009-04-20T23:33:00.007-04:00

Hey guys! Some of you might know that I’m not the heaviest person on the internet. At 130-ish pounds, I’d love to gain some serious weight again, something like the 170ish pounds I was back in high school. I think I’ll try a new diet high in protein, maybe that’ll help. . . I went and bought a selection of Cliff Bars last week, and I’ll eat one a day to try to gain some heft. Hey, 20% of your daily NEEDS of protein’s not too shabby! Plus, they actually taste good! By the way, I’m lactose intolerant, and it’s a real treat to have chocolate that’s not been made with milk. I’ve tried the Maple Nut kind for dinner tonight with some raisins, and my expectations were blown away! AWESOME FLAVOR. Chocolate Chip & Oatmeal/Raisin/Walnut types are just as great, while the White Chocolate Macadamian Nut landed in the pretty good ranking… I’ll let you all know if my hairy arse gets any wider because of this diet guys! Wish me luck! (Oh yeah, an American who’s not fat already- Hur-hur-hur! Digestive issues suck, Clif Bars don’t.)

How’d I loose five pounds then? I donated them to Mr. Gregg Mayles’ favorite charity for the 26 mile marathon he’ll be running on April 26th. I had to do a Dollar to Pounds converter to measure out 5 pounds from my Paypal account. I gave more than half of what I had though! I couldn’t give the whole 9 bucks as Ebay has seller fees I need to pay off. What’s even better is that every dollar I donated is MATCHED by Microsoft! How cool is that?! It’s like I’ve given them about 14 dollars, almost sorta. Right, the charity is Wishes 4 Kids, and they do some great stuff for sick kiddos in the UK and I think the mission’s completely rockin’. I couldn’t think of anything better than having the man behind the cartoon honey bear do his part to sweat to make kids happy. God bless Gregg, Rare, Microsoft and all who donate to the event for making the Zenek-Purple Run a fun & profitable one for kids who could use a wish granted.

http://www.wishes4kids.co.uk/

Zenek Purple? Yep. Gregg & His Krew’s flying my royal colors this year as opposed to construction worker orange. That’s like icing on the cake, man! Do yourself and some special child a favor and donate a little something on Gregg’s site below. You know you want to, friend. J Keep Cool Everyone!

http://www.justgiving.com/averypurplemarathon

PS. See any other cool donators on that list? (Trick question! THEY ARE ALL COOL.)

PPS. I REALLY wanted The Blog of Zen to be Purple from the first post, but I can't twist Blogger's rigid system to allow it. Lame. :(

Salmon Flavored Toothpaste.

2009-04-18T00:08:00.005-04:00

I’m going to be very honest here people. By and large, I don’t care for anime. For me, the curtural relevance of having a “serious themed” program’s characters wildly flail about and be redrawn as sock puppets is lost on me and it rips you forcefully from any engrossment in the show’s plot. YES, DAMN IT, they all look the same. Pull any five characters from any five American/European animation studios and try to find ones that are similar. You’ll not find any as similar as a random grouping of five anime characters. The end of the world, extremely oppressive governments, giant demons/robot suits and tentacles aren’t fun anymore, and I never liked the cat-girls/obvious promotion of pedophile jailbait as Japanese themes would have me to believe…

HOWEVER! There are a trio of cartoons from the Land of the Rising Sun that I LOVE. Mostly because of the unique plot lines, character types, and animation styles used In the production of them.

Lupin the 3rd: Fun, upbeat stories about a clever thief, western gunslinger, Japanese samurai, and the thief’s would-be main squeeze who travel the world stealing rare treasures and do their best to avoid the authorities. Old as dust, but it’s a barrel of fun. Police chief “Pops” steals the show with his attempts to apprehend the world-famous thief, Lupin.

Shin-Chan: Japanese South Park with a SUPER-DUBBED hilarious version that never fails to make me laugh. Rude, crude, & often nude, this is one unique and iconic funny show. His dubbed friend “Georgie” who talks like a complete Right-Wing American (Like myself) always gets a smile out of me. Money…. Makes Life Happy! :P

Death Note: WOW. Story that grabs you by the ghoulies with twists & turns that you will not see coming, beautifully fleshed out characters, action, suspense, mystery, apples. I need to watch volume 9, so Netflix here I come!

And to my readers, I’m so sorry about the lack of posts Mon & Wed, my Network was down, but I’m back in business baby! Enjoy the weekend, and see you next week!

No one likes a smelly geek.

2009-04-10T22:41:00.002-04:00

NO ONE! One thing I’ve thought about writing was a “How the Dork can have a chance with the Princess” sort of help book. This is one part that I’VE NEVER had a problem with, being a clean-freak and all (Soap is my best friend! Showers ROCK! Cleanliness is next to Zenliness! One more: I ALWAYS wash my hands before playing one of my game consoles. 4 Real!), but I can just imagine the many nerds who’d have a chance with meeting a nice girl if they at least didn’t smell like crusty pond scum on a warthog’s rump.

(This fellow probably smells like rhino feet after a long workout on the treadmill)

Everyone reading this has to have some sort of geek/nerd/dork in themselves, but that’s perfectly cool. I’m a huge Star Wars/Sci-fi fan, I read Marvel comics, and most of all I’m a self-pronounced Gamer, and if you’re reading this you are probably up-to-date about gaming too. However, I know you can think of times you’ve been in a game store, a video rental place, or the book shop only to have a greasy nerd stand WAY too close to you WHO REEKS with his nasty funk of BO.

Listen smelly geeks, you could have a chance with the opposite sex if you didn’t offend their nostrils before you repel them with Ewok-related trivia. Honestly, I’ve seen too many D&D’ers, Dragon Ball Z groupies and Max-Level Tauren raiders who sit on the romantic sidelines because they SMELL like cow-people…

Do yourselves a favor- Bathe every day! Brush your freakin’ hair! Use a body spray/deodorant!
Not only will you be less of a disgusting burden to stand behind in the Gamestop line while you haggle trading in your ancient Game Boy Pokémon collection, but the ladies LOVE IT when their man smells good. I’ve been using Axe’s Kilo brand for about 9 months now, and when I put on the spray/body wash, I can tell you from personal experience that it drives She-Zenek WILD. :P I used further experimentation with Axe products too, but the Axe Shampoo Dual product has no further effect on She-Zenek. L Ah, well. It’s a trial and error thing. The funniest thing about my mini-rant is that I’ve never met a stinky Rare fan… I wonder why that is? I believe it’s a law if you work in a comic book shop you must have visible green stink lines emanating from your being in Florida.

I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about, and I’m SO not being sexist here, as I’ve met stanky dorky women too! I remember in middle school this one girl who was very interested in me, and all I could think of was how her breath smelled like a bucket of chum and mayonnaise left in the sun for a few hours. I’m not saying that Jaws wouldn’t have been turned on, but still- BRUSH YOUR TEETH TOO! Man, it sure feels odd to have to tell such a smart, imaginative, and talented sub-group of people to take care of personal hygiene if they desire human interaction. Know why people like me & I have my very own She-Zenek? It’s not just because I’m nice, smart & creative, it’s also because I don’t STINK. :P Have a very wonderful Easter, and may you find your own special scent!

Wordle is a cool toy

2009-04-08T22:20:00.002-04:00

It's like they took random words from the Blog of Zen, squished them together and slapped neon colors all over it... Oh. Neat, eh? You can use it on any webpage to make your own Wordle at:

http://www.wordle.net/

A real post will be here on Friday, I promise. :P

Zenek, Art Collector.

2009-04-06T22:20:00.005-04:00

Hey guys! One things that's been on my list of to-do's is to get a nice art collection going for my walls. I love to get high quality drawings and images from my favorite games, movies and books, and I've made a very nice start with a classic Ralph McQuarrie painting of the Tusken Raiders from Star Wars, and a lovely render of the Tediz Thermophile (Signed by the Conker: L&R Team!) I recieved from Rare for the Conker's Furry Gank event. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to host another this year?

I have a pair of works I have my eye on next, one being another Star Wars painting that shows a huge selection of main and minor characters from the entire saga in a tight group with small bits of colorful confetti falling over the crowd. Sorry I can't find that one to share with you now, but if I do it'll end up here! Promise!

The one I'm actively seeking now is the cover to Thunderbolts #110. This cover made me stop after about ten years away from the comicbook scene, only to get hooked once more with Thunderbolts. Not only is this piece a real looker, (For me at least, I don't know about you guys. :) ), but from issue #110 on through #127, the cast of Thunderbolts made the most engaging and fun series I could ever ask for. That's something for another post though. Enjoy the eyefulls, and I'll let you know if pestering Marvel pays off...

Late? ME?!

2009-04-03T22:36:00.006-04:00

Sorry about the lack of updates this week, as I was WIPED OUT on Monday to do anything special and when Wed came about, my internet ran away and I had to look all over the neighborhood for it. I need a new service provider, as Comcast leaves me with a very intermitent connection that can snap off randomly and for up to eight hours. (Sorry George!)

Anyhoo, Typhoon Lagoon was AWESOME! Me and She-Zenek had a freakin' BLAST! It was a rainy day through mid-day in Orlando and the four hour drive sucked my Ghoulies, but once we got to the park, it stopped raining and gradually cleared up. No lines for ANYTHING! We hit all of the slides, swam with tropical fish & sharks, and got tossed about a MASSIVE wave pool, and I even got a bit of tan on my ghost-pale face. I can't reccomend hitting Typhoon Lagoon early in the year with greater emphasis, as it's painfully obvious that the place is PACKED in the warmer months. The walks to the attractions are extremely long, and I couldn't immagine waiting in line with many a hot and stinky family to share rafts with them...

http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/typhoon-lagoon/

I still can't believe we did it all! Check it out! ^ Swimming with sharks was SO COOL. We also learned how to use a snorkel. Even as a Floridian, the snorkel is NOT an everyday tool... (See instant mouthful of water)

I can't believe how great my idea was- we got to do everything they had! Me and my sweetie made special memories that we'll always remember. Other than the scrape I got on my hand when I went on one of the EXTREEEME slides, I brought home some Goofy Candy (Chewy Spree) and a Typhoon Lagoon Fridge Magnet. We stayed in the awesomely nostalgic Disney's Pop Century Resort in the Swinging 60's section. It was a very nice hotel considering how cheap it was. We also got to hit Downtown Disney that night too, and ate at the Earl of Sandwiches. They make the best Hawaiian sandwiches! All this and we only stayed for one day! Best day of my vacation though... ;) That stormy Lagoon brought me and She-Zenek SO much closer together and I couldn't be happier with her than I am now. Love you, babe!

^If it's fun for Zenek, it's PURE TERROR for She-Zenek... :P ^

By the way, a special announcement: I turn the magical age of 22 tomorrow! Yep, I'm old. Send all your candy, games, comics, and all-over cool stuff to me, ok?

Vacation Time!

2009-03-27T23:32:00.003-04:00

Hey everypeoples! I'm getting ready to grab She-Zenek, load up the car, and head down to Orlando to enjoy Disney's Typhoon Lagoon and Downtown Disney for the weekend! Yay! I've never been to TL, so it'll be a new experience for me. Too bad I turn boiled-lobster red when I'm in the sun for too long, so I've prepared with some SPF 70 sunblock. Funny thing about the preview video that introduces people to the water park is that when it represents the killer wave that destroyed the high-end resort that was turned into Typhoon Lagoon, if you pay close attention, there's a dude body-surfing the wave...

So obviously that guy's dead, right? I mean, it tossed a freakin' tug boat on top of a mountain, that poor brave man's toast! Ah, well. Downtown Disney's always fun- There's something new to enjoy and expreience everytime I go there. Like last time, there was a really talented musician with a killer rock-guitar/ didjeridu combo, and you know what? HE ROCKED. They opened a new resteraunt since I've been last where you can eat with real animatronic dinosaurs! Dinosaurs also ROCK. Too bad my computer's giving me a tough time and won't let me post images or links to stuff right now, so I'll just have to come back tomorrow and fix it. BLEH.

It's all in celebration of how much I love & appreciate She-Zenek, and my Birthday! YAAAY! Even if it's NEXT Saturday... :P

One last thing, if you're comming here from the coolest Rare-Fansite on the net and want to get a glimpse of somthing I've got in store for the site, I've got a hint for you!
What do L.O.G., Deep Blue, Krunch, Wozza, Banjo, Cluckles, Jack Dark, and myself all have in common? Hmm..... Stay tuned and you'll see soon! :P Rock on, and I'll see you on Monday!

And if you thought I was bad...

2009-03-25T22:34:00.003-04:00

You should read some of these artices from Wired.com detailing "How to" do certain things, and some of these articles are genuinely helpful and enlightening, but some are just rubbish. Take for example "How to Be a Game God" by playing easy Xbox 360 games to jack your GamerScore:

http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Be_a_Game_God

My best tip actually comes from Rare: "Be less crap."

"How to Become a fake audiophile" sounds extremely silly, but when you stare into the abyss that is the soul of a real audiophile, you'll be stuck like a deer in the headlights when he WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT MUSIC YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF, OR WILL EVER CARE ABOUT. Some dude from work is one, and it drives me nuts sometimes! It's like if a gamer like you or I talked a catholic nun's ear off about Rareware, mouse vs controller usage, or how much better the Brawl version of Donkey Kong was better than the Melee version. Just fend off the music-dork off with any blunt object you can get your hands on, and RUN. They won't stay stunned for long...

http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Become_a_fake_audiophile

The absolute WORST thing I could find was "How to Cheat at Wii Fit". Hoo-boy. I quit.

http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Cheat_at_Wii_Fit

Did I get in before Thursday? Cool with me either way, as I'm on vacation and I can sleep all I want. NYEH! See you all on Friday!

Xbox Originals

2009-03-23T22:35:00.004-04:00

I have to admit it’s pretty wild to see a console’s successor have its prior console’s games available for download, but in a cool way so I can let my friends who missed out on the Xbox what’s what from the last gen. There’s some great stuff I’ve enjoyed that Microsoft places on Xbox Live for download, and I’d like to do a micro-review below letting you know if you should plunk down the Microsoft points for the old classics I’ve had the chance to play with and actually own. (Keep in mind that these mostly take up some serious system memory, so do the math before you buy!) For ease of reading, I’ll tag each on the end with a final grade between A & F, “A” means AWESOME by the way.

Fable – A popular lengthy action/adventure game where you take a Hero through his troubled life and make the best or worst with it. Great visuals, kinda bland tunes, very dreary world, tight controls, deep experience, game changes based on moral decisions. B+

Halo: Combat Evolved – Space Marine meets alien artifact, fights off alien Covenant to survive and uncovers secrets from a long-extinct advanced alien race. Impressive AI, crappy backtracking, fun offline multiplayer, fun sci-fi story, immersive universe. A-

Psychonauts – Psychic child, Raz runs from his home at a traveling circus to a special summer camp for kids with mental powers. Things turn for the worst for Raz when nasty dreams, creepy monsters, and odd events shake the camp’s very foundations. Stylized visuals that are timeless, roller coaster story, excellent humor, precise controls, giant lungfish named Linda. A+

Fuzion Frenzy – In the future, kids will compete in physical events for a TV show called Fuzion Frenzy. It’s no fun by yourself, but with friends this game starts to shine. Plenty of nice mini-games to keep you & your pals entertained. C+

Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge – An alternate universe where the American Civil War fragmented the North American continent into a fragmented Europe-like landscape where train rails weren’t made over the many borders. Decent story leads players into the VERY fun dog-fighting modes on Xbox Live. Graphics do their job, and the planes handle like the real thing, with a nice variety of planes. Xbox Live makes this game FUN. A

Jade Empire – An Asian epic where you take a hero to topple a vicious empire’s leader. Many combat styles and tight controls can pull your mind into the great fights, while the story will suck you in completely. Multiple paths for your play choices, intriguing characters, emphasis on good/evil choices, the ability to turn into a giant frog monster and belly bump your enemies. A+

Ninja Gaiden Black – Overly difficult and frustrating game starring ninja Ryu. Watch as he gets MURDERED. If you can or have the patience to get past level 2, God bless you! You’ve got more patience than I… Crap camera, controls, story, and HIGH difficulty level make this game the Anti-Fun. F

Grabbed by the Ghoulies – Amazingly fun beat-em-up, starring Cooper, who has to trek through a haunted manor to rescue his girlfriend, Amber. Fun strategic violence, humor around ever corner, weapons and enemies galore, perfect music, classic comic-book style visuals, A DJ mummy. A+

I’d love to grab more of the games that are already on the service as Xbox Originals, but most of all I want to play Zapper: One Wicked Cricket. It looked worthwhile, and I’d be ready to give it a shot. (Once I finish Resident Evil 5, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, and Left 4 Dead, that is…) I hope you are able to catch the better of the games I’ve enjoyed in their physical disc form on the classic Xbox, there’s some good ‘uns there! Happy Monday Zen Fans!

Zenek vs. GameTrailers

2009-03-20T22:07:00.003-04:00

I don’t know how many of you saw this review for Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, but I was shocked, disappointed, and dismayed at the lack of professionalism displayed in the video. The entire thing felt like an angry fan-boyish rant from one of those “It must suck, as it’s not like the original” muck fields where they must spawn from, and must’ve been played for less than 2 hours before making the angry rant for this video. I ask you to watch the video with me, and hear me out as I take GameTrailers.com down a peg or two with their own hypocrisy, blind-folded nostalgia, and sucks-at-playing-itude.

You get the popcorn, and I’ll get the unadulterated RAGE.

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/42793.html

:10-30 *Uh-Oh, here we go. Already Banjo’s “viewed as not-as-good as Super Mario 64, and it’s viewed as a ‘me too!’ game.” The F*%$?! Ok, that’s up to the individual, as Mario is NOT THE platformer. So, every 3D platformer after SM64’s a clone, whatever. That “rare at the time” blurb was a quick slide as to not say anything nice about Banjo-Kazooie. Whatever. B-K had more character, better controls, better graphics, a better story, and was more atmospheric and FUN than SM64. NYEH. See? I can fan-boy bitch slap too! Continued…

:34 *YOU’RE AN AWFUL NAME, AND A TOWEL! Wha? Sorry, continue…

:55- 1:11 *Now THIS PISSED ME OFF REALLY BADLY. Saying that the story of N&B doesn’t matter, when you spend 1 minute and 7 seconds explaining the story of Sonic & the Black Knight, and you call the intro of the most famous gaming duo of the late 90’s worthless and forgettable, you loose credibility. Congrads, GT, you gave more respect to 50 Cent 2: Blood on the Sand’s story than Banjo’s. No S&@^ it’s silly, it’s about a cartoon bear who’s best friend is a bird that doesn’t leave his backpack! DURR. Continue…

1:55 *Arduous? Really? Then call out the entire Metroid Prime and Legend of Zelda series’, as they’re WAY more repetitive as far as simple level design and play mechanics go. Oh, wait! The developers play those franchises in the same exact way over and over each year or so, and those titles are stagnated with sameness and boring play mechanics. Oh no! We have to go to the HUB WORLD to unlock the next world?! Nuts & Bolts SUCKS! Continue, please…

2:22 *And here comes the meat and potatoes of why GT didn’t like N&B: They SUCKED AT IT. Not being rude, but I’ll explain in a minute or so. Continue…2:52 *Not fast enough? Get better at learning what kind of parts and basic body shapes you’ll need for certain mission types, and you’ll not spend the “HOURS OF DOWNTIME” in Mumbo’s Motors. I swear, GT must be as block headed as Banjo looks. Continue…

2:57 *Watching the video, and you wonder what the Hell the player’s DOING. Durr… I not know how to be playing game. Go tell the ape who was demoing N&B for your video to go eat crayons and let someone who KNOWS WHAT THE *&#% THEY ARE DOING SHOW THE GAME OFF. Continue…

3:06 *Ah, the “no business taking part in” excuse eh? Some of the early challenges are obviously crafted so that you use the bare minimum parts you’ve earned to scrape by the skin of your teeth, and you’re supposed to return later with more advanced parts and more experience building creatively to snag some Trophies. You can play for half a day and if you’re a knuckle-dragging moron, you can gnaw on the controller for as long as you like and enjoy the rumble feed back as it massages your monkey gumline. Got any WORSE complaints, GT? Get it all out of your system, ok? Continue…

3:27* I actually thought that the ground viechicles were a bit on the sensitive side at first too, but then I found the Spoiler parts, which really give any ground machine MUCH better handling. After so long, I didn’t even NEED the spoilers to control them properly, as by then I’ve gotten a real feel for the game’s controls, and mastered driving. Then again, I’m sure that GT didn’t play that long to figure that out, as all I see in the entire video is Showdown Town and Nutty Acres. Just admit you didn’t play it for very long, and gave it a sh*t review, and I’ll be happy, GT. Continue…

3:38* Now you’re whining about the wheels? If you space the wheels apart like you would on ANYTHING YOU RIDE, you’ll be fine. You straw-grasping ninnies. Continue…

3:43 *WHAH! Kazooie’s wrench lifts stuff too easily! This game’s sucky! WHAHHH! Continue…

3:45* Or you could be less crap? Anyone here notice a pattern of stuff someone would say if he or she sucked completely at a game? Continue…

3:50 *No sh*t. I suppose the millions who liked to create stuff on Spore and World of Warcraft are just a bunch of MORONS who like to CREATE. Dumbasses. Continue...

3:54 *If you suck. Continue…4:38 *That’s up to interpretation. Meh, now you’re bitching that the game’s too pretty because of it’s style? Make up your mind. Continue…

4:45 *Ah, note the music doesn’t get ripped on, as it was played to be very conservative to be one of the main anchors to the previous Banjo games. Bit of an obvious bias for the new stuff, eh GT? Continue…

4:52 *I’ve not heard anyone complain about it. OTHER THAN YOU. Continue… *mumblemumble*

4:57 *You aught to be slapped for that, you simian goon! The writing’s STRONGER if anything, the writer of Scribes went far and beyond his creative duty for N&B, so GT can stuff it. Why don’t the “attempt” at trying to play a game correctly before dashing it’s reputation to bits? Continue…

5:15 *”Because we like games that aren’t very innovative, and we’re biased losers who would trade our mothers for crappy Japanese RPG’s.” Wait, did I just say that? Never mind me… Too complicated and convoluted? Yeah, racing is a pretty high-concept for the kids these days, and with more and more games featuring creators for the characters, levels and tools the players can use, who can argue with GT? ME, because those are dumb excuses. Play the game for longer than you did, GT, and loose the bias! Continue…

5:24 *CLEARLY the gibbon playing the game didn’t comprehend that the idea of the challenge he was playing was to tip OVER Grunty. That shows that the reviewer was worthless AGAIN. Continue into the home stretch…

5:38 *To sum it up, get someone who will play the game for what it is, play it for at least 5-6 hours, preferably who didn’t live with an N64, and maybe I’ll give you some credit as far as reviewing Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts &Bolts. Until then, You’re on my list of SUCK Gametrailers.com. I only use you to watch ScrewAttack anyway!

Right, I wasn't too harsh with GT, and they deserve a real wake-up call to the crap reviewing style they've sunken into. Hope you enjoyed the commentary, and I'll see you all on Monday! Enjoy the weekend!

Bleep-Bloop!

2009-03-19T00:18:00.002-04:00

Sure, Gamerscore may not mean much, but the individual Achievements tied into the games are a huge interest to me. It’s a genuine dream to instantly compare individual goals and milestones with friends in different games, and whether it’s for bragging rights, a quick “why haven’t you done THAT?”, or a certain high score, it’s fun to PUBLICLY overcome the challenges set by the game’s developers. Here’s a shorter listing of some of the Achievements that mean something to me:

Chain Smoker- This is a very fun Achievement where you have to capture 2 survivors with your tongue in one life as a Smoker. It should be noted that I did this BEFORE they made the Smoker easier with the Left 4 Dead patch! ;)

Be the Knife- A HARD Resident Evil 5 goal where you are supposed to deflect a fire-tipped arrow with a single swing of your knife. I did it without trying in a Jar-Jar Binks like moment where I went: “Ooh! Breakable barrel! I need ammo!” Slash-Tink-Achievement Unlocked. Luck is…

Found Ash- For some buggy reason, this was my first Achievement! You’d think I’d have found Rubble & Pummel Weed first, but I’m just good like that. (That, and the game bugged up.)

Master Gardener- A pretty tough Shadowrun Achievement where you have to kill off 5 foes with a magic style that’s meant to be a mild bother. Kinda like killing off someone by leaving some blocky Japanese toys on the floor so they can stub their toes. Took forever, but I got to be the MASTER of Strangle and leaving a crystalline mess for the other team!

Floater in the Pipe- I made a specially UGLY contraption just for this Achievement that looks like Fulgore’s fist and a helicopter. I simply created the world’s largest catcher’s mitt, slapped some chopper blades on it, and took the clunker about to retrieve the floater. Best 20 minutes I ever spent on a videogame. :P

Cluckles Hatches Egg- I’d have NEVER gotten this one naturally if I hadn’t asked a friend why the egg my Diggerling found never hatched… Thanks for the tip!

I like to mentally tack Achievements with special memories, as it makes the gaming experience that much more fun. I’m sure there will be many more in the future, as I’m sure that Microsoft’s next gaming machine is bound to have Achievements as well. Yeah, I posted this late… See you Friday!

I am a Creationist.

2009-03-16T21:53:00.002-04:00

Hey guys! I’m feeling SO much better now! J Antibiotics and such are great! Yay!
I wanted to share something about myself today: I’m a Creationist. I believe that life was created by a higher being and in my personal beliefs the one True Christian God. The theory of evolution isn’t what I’m talking about here, as even if you DO believe that your ancestors were apes -> rat-things -> amphibians -> fish -> cells -> primitive proteins…. Where do the primitive proteins come from? Science has never proven how this most basic and simple form of life came to be. The idea of the right chemical, temperature and electrical elements coming together to spark life has been disproven, and if there was a “random” mixture of elements that can make the most basic life form, why can’t humans do it?

(Any reason to post a dinosaur image...)

If your “scientific” theories of the origin of life are more full of holes than the ending of Star Fox Adventures, don’t you dare say that my belief that life was created by something more than random events (that haven’t been recreated). Even when Creationism is mentioned, scientists tend to foam at the mouth, and even more so when God is the subject. They would much rather say that life came from an evolved crystal (Wha?!), aliens, or an ancient civilisation that has become extinct than God, and that’s sad. I think it’s more or less because people don’t want to have a personal sense of “right” or “wrong”, and to see all of mankind’s struggles as “equal”, when not everything in life is equal…

Point being, I’m a Creationist, and I proudly hold my beliefs that God created life of Earth. Unless you can prove me wrong, don’t throw any virtual stones. Have a great day, people! See you on Wed!

Almost not sick...

2009-03-13T23:06:00.003-04:00

But not quite. BLEH. Here's a bit of a plea to those who need this: If you've not played Resident Evil 4, DO IT. If you don't want to get lost in the story, or didn't like the previous titles, DO IT ANYWAY. It's different enough, and it's BETTER. You can find it for the Game Cube, PS2, PC, Wii, and most modern toasters.

It's the best thing on the Gamecube, and arguably on the Wii... Well, that & Brawl... Right, awesome story, characters, great controls, visuals, tension, good scares, the works! If you want more about it in my own words, check out this old review I did for Skullkids way back when:

http://www.skullkids.co.uk/reviews/residentevil4.php

I'm goin' to bed. Enjoy the weekend, and sleep tight! ;)

Nope- Still Sick...

2009-03-12T14:58:00.003-04:00

Sorry about the late post people, I'm still sick, and WAAAAY too out of it to write up an entertaining post. :( Here's some cool Spore creatures I made in the meantime:

It's a Salabett. I'll bett it'll bite your hand off if you try to pet it.

This one's specially bred to give butterfly kisses.

And here's my favorite: The Inaja. They are a proud race of crab-clawed, toad-toed, 6-eyed, crystal-backed dodos. This chubby guy's the product of my first playtrhough of Spore, and I've become attached to 'im. Maybe I'll have him made into a mini-statue via this site some day (without the armor):

http://www.sporesculptor.com/

You never know, my birthday's comming up and all! (Hint-Hint!) :P Rock on, and see you Friday!

Sick Again...

2009-03-09T21:53:00.003-04:00

Yup, since Friday night, I've been feeling like crap due to the effects of Yellow Fever, Lycanthropy, & the T-Virus. I'm "better" than I was, and I've been surviving on a on & off internet connection, crappy daytime TV, and making wierd Spore creatures.

I call this one an "Uun", as in the most uunlovable and ugly creature in the universe. Blech. Sorry about the lack of a "real" post, I'm still sick. See you all on Wed.

Local Chinese Restaurant = Disgusting Hovel?

2009-03-06T23:24:00.001-05:00

Do you like Chinese Food? I do, and most times I get out, I like to try something new. Like Beef Stick at the local place. It’s simply chunky strips of beef stabbed onto wooden sticks, but I can’t enjoy them in front of Mother of Zenek, or Sister of Zenek, as apparently it looks like I’m eating a “Squirrel on a stick”. They don’t know what they’re missing out on!

It’s SO hard to find a good Chinese restaurant around here… Last Sunday, She-Zenek & I wanted to enjoy some pork-fried rice & beef stick at my favorite local place “Mayport Gardens”. Then I forgot that it’s closed on Sundays; how DARE the adorable Chinese couple who’ve slaved in the tiny hole in the wall since I was a little Zen take a whole DAY OFF once a week?!

After some frantic searching, I came about “China One”. It’s closer to her apartment, and it got an A for convenience, but it’s a damn shame that this place also had years of grime all over everything. It’s the kind of place people get take-out from, but wouldn’t sit down and eat there. So after we sat down…

I got the rib meat (THE PICTURE MENU LIED!!!) and she tried the meat dumplings. I picked away at the meatier chunks of cat meat saturated in red candy cane food coloring, and she ate the meat out of the dumplings, and the entire time I couldn’t help but think as I stared at the “charming” neon orange walls staring down the gray museum marble panels, I could SO poo on the floor and no one working here would care. Meh. There IS Panda Express, and that’s got the best of both worlds: Clean and pretty yummy. Mayport Gardens had that too, but alas: apparently legal aliens can have days off. I tried this one Chinese place near the beach once, and it wasn’t too crap tasting, but it was just as if the state of Florida registered the store as a Sanctuary for Asian Dustbunnies. Arg. I’ll just have to take She-Zenek to my old stomping grounds on Monday… I’ll be too busy enjoying the weekend to think about it though! Ha!

Will that be Notes, Banana Coins or Visa?

2009-03-04T22:38:00.003-05:00

I don’t know if you were there for it, but I created a poll a few months ago about what would be the most intriguing new official online add-on for Rare’s site: Rareware.com , and the answer was overwhelmingly in favor for an online store. After thinking about it, why the heck not? Want some extra money from Rare’s dept, Microsoft? Why not set up a small division like the Bungie store (Well, looks like THAT example’s offline) or the Microsoft Store? http://store.microsoft.com/home.aspx

If fans want to buy two-dollar shirts with a 25-cent iron-on logo for Banjo-Tooie Live for 15-20 bucks, a hard-to-find in the States copy of It’s Mr. Pants, or a limited edition action figure of Spinal, why not? It’d give some people jobs, creating the new Rare-themed swag, manning the RareStore, and whatever else goes into creating on online store. I can already imagine some of the (being realistic here!) stuff that could hit the E-shelves:

-NSTC & PAL versions of all Rare made Xbox 360/Xbox titles.

-T-shirts for all of the above

-The collection of THQ portables from the GBA/DS era.

-Viva Pinata plushies.

-Xbox Live content linked to your Gamertag, like the Arcade Games, Themes, Picture Packs, etc.

-Prima Strategy guides, PDZ novels/comics, Kameo comics, Making Of “Insert Game Here” Books.

-Art: Posters of concept art/logos/renders nicely printed ready to be framed for your wall.

-Toys? I’d buy a Blue Jet Force Gemini Ant Drone… J

Maybe if we ask Microsoft nicely, they’ll go out of their way to make a website so we can get some cool swag based on or favorite games in exchange for ALL OF OUR MONEY? Aww, I’d go broke… See you lot on Friday!

Your loved ones say the darndest things!

2009-03-02T23:03:00.002-05:00

Over the years, I’ve shared my passion for gaming with those I care about and my family & friends have some “quirky” comments about some of the Rare games we’ve all enjoyed. It should be noted that all of the following quotes are not goaded upon by myself or reading stuff in the internet (as no one else I know in meat space would give a crap about Kotaku and IGN…), and all reactions are purely from watching me enjoy some game-time. Here’s a few of my more memorable and favorite ones from my cherished ones:

“Why is there a priest here?” She-Zenek, regarding the first time Crivens shuffles into the main hall to meet Cooper. (Grabbed by the Ghoulies)

“The Imps look like Jinjos…” Sister of Zenek. (Grabbed by the Ghoulies)

“What’s that thing on Banjo’s head? It looks stupid.” Sister of Zenek, regarding the angular hairdo of Banjo. (Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts)

“Why’s Banjo’s nose square?” Sister of Zenek, (B-K:N&B)

“Ooh! That’s very colorful…” Zenek’s Momma, walking past me playing. (Jetpac Refuelled)

She's got me there... :P

“NO! Don’t shoot it, Zenek! … Awww…” Sister of Zenek, regarding my treatment of Tribal children with a Tri-Rocket launcher. >:) (Jet Force Gemini)

“AAAH! GAWD.I HATE those things! They’re scary… You beat it.” Sister of Zenek, regarding Minjos. (Banjo-Tooie)

“Damn, that paintbrush’s stupid!” Grandpa of Zenek, regarding Reg the repeating Paintbrush. (Conker’s Bad Fur Day)

I’m sure you all have your own funny quotes from on lookers of your gaming sessions too, and this is just off the top of my head, so expect more in the future, ok? Hope you enjoyed, and see you Wed!

Terror From Twycross

2009-02-27T23:09:00.001-05:00

The Rare we’ve all come to know and love has taken us, the collective audience, through a wide range of settings and through the Spectrum (Ha!) of mental states of mind. From the extremely silly skit-levels of Conker’s Bad Fur Day, the light hearted walk about Spiral Mountain, to the white-knuckle skull-shaped roller coaster rides of Donkey Kong Country 2, Rare can paint the most immersive worlds in gaming’s long history. Now let’s shift gears for a sec- You know how the tech wizards at Capcom and Epic can make engaging universes and scenarios of doom, gloom, and terror by now with such great games such as Resident Evil 4 and Gears of War, right? Well why not have Rare apply that same tactic of crafting a world of brutal survival against a persistent and blood thirsty inhuman foe with a compelling story, perfect controls and stunning visuals? Seriously, who’d not want to see Pixar of Monsters Inc, and Ratatouille fame make a scary short film just to do it? Rare is STILL the industry’s top in-game universe-maker, and to think about the spine-chilling, gore spilling, googley-eyed monsters we could see from those creative geniuses makes me shiver in anticipation…

It’s not like we’ve not been treated to bits and pieces of Rare’s darkside before: Mad Monster Mansion was spooky (Freaked me out when I was younger anyway…), Witchy World was terribly depressing, Speaking of Spooky- Conker’s horror level was very nasty, Tawfret was my favorite horror level though… The alien world from Jet Force Gemini was dreadful! (In the cool gives you the creeps way that we’re going for!) Poor Juno lands on a swampy muck ball and is stalked by zombie-like disfigured alien Ant-Drones in the misty dreary marshes pressing forward with no other alternative to hold your wits about you and your machine gun tighter. I wonder how that “Urchin” project would’ve been… After two candy-coated romance fests from the gooey nougat hear t of Pinata Island, would it be too much to ask for a “Horror” game from the Legendary Developer? Or does Microsoft consider Gears of War to be their horror series? I’m sure Resident Evil 5 will keep me occupied in the meantime, though. J Have a great weekend, everyone! Don’t let the blood-crazed homicidal maniacs bite!

Who am I kidding? I'd go nuts is Grabbed by the Ghoulies 2 was announced! :P

In a toy box far, far away…

2009-02-25T23:34:00.003-05:00

Here’s a little something cool I’d like to share with you guys: The half-hour Robot Chicken special parodying the six part Star Wars saga is playable on the official website as found below. I thought that Robot Chicken, the short show about random skits played out by ancient tossed out action figures, was great enough, but to be given the green light to make 30 minutes of non-stop laughs about Chinese-food chomping Space Slugs, Mid-Nite with Zuckuss, and Jabba the Hutt’s never-ending quest to obtain a well-fitting sweater. It’s good enough for me to grab the Star Wars Robot Chicken DVD even though it’s online for free! (That, and my parents have great taste in Christmas presents) Get to watching, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Can you guess what skit was my favorite? See you Jawas, Sith Lords, and various nerdlings on Friday…

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/robotchicken/extras/ivc/starwars/index.html

Gamerscore & I

2009-02-23T23:57:00.001-05:00

The Xbox Live Team created many new and interesting features for the Xbox 360’s version of Live, and how we would interact with the console and each other. One of the more pervasive of these new bits is the Gamerscore: a listing of all the Achievement points from all the games you’ve played lumped together neatly beside your Gamer Tag. The Gamerscore doesn’t mean a whole heck of a lot to me, and that’s coming from someone with a total of “14,588”. That’s the equivalent of obtaining all of the Achievements from fourteen retail games, two Xbox Live Arcade titles, and some change left over! The biggest names that helped grow my score are Kameo: Elements of Power, Viva Pinata, and Fuzion Frenzy 2 claiming 1,000 points each. The reason this total score doesn’t account for a hill of e-beans is because it’s totally dependent on the number of games you’ve played/rented. I have friends on my Friend List who have upwards of 46 thousand points!

Still, I think that the points per Achievement when compared to a friend who owns the same game is a great source of competition! I love to take certain games like Shadowrun, Halo 3, and Left 4 Dead which all have Achievements that are based heavily on Xbox Live play against buddies for bragging rights. The ease that Live lets you compare the G-score against your friends in specific games is a great facet of Live. Single player games too are picked apart by my buddies over Live, like when I took longer than someone thought I should’ve to get the “Music Maestro” Achievement for Banjo-Kazooie, or congrads for getting the “Soldier” Gears of War Achievement. (When said Friend also claims that Gears sucks in the same compliment! :P ) In conclusion: Gamerscore when compared on a game-to-game basis is a worthwhile endeavor to stir up a conversation with your pals over Live and to start some competitive fun, while the pile of Achievement points that is your TOTAL Gamerscore isn’t worth the pixels it’s made out of. Ooh! AND I just got the “Pimped Up” Achievement! Yay me! :P

Rocking Recent Rare Refrains

2009-02-20T23:20:00.003-05:00

Here’s a shout-out to the musical geniuses who’ve ticked my eardrums over the years with my favorite tunes from the more recent Rare games:

Grabbed by the Ghoulies: Main Theme, Cursed Mummy, Ninja Imps, Ballroom Disco…
Conker: Live & Reloaded: The Ditch, Bats, Pissed Pitchfork (You know the part where the inbred garden tool tried to stab our little red pal? I want that MP3, man…)
Kameo: Elements of Power: Castle Fight, End Credits, Hero’s Theme…
Perfect Dark Zero: Arena Showdown, Deathmatch with Maiham!, Limelight… (Hey, Rare! More David Clynick please, thanks. ;) )
Viva Pinata/Trouble in Paradise: Night music’s so soothing, Mothdrop Romance Dance, Taffly Romance Dance…
Jetpac Refuelled: EVERYTHING, AND THE GREAT STUFF THAT WAS CUT!!! MORE! I NEEED MOREEE!!!
Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty’s Theme in all of it’s lovely mutated forms( One of my All-Time favorites!), Rusty Bucket Bay, Bubble Gloop Swamp…
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts: More Grunty Theme, Log Box 720, Terrarium of Terror…

Just a sample, and it’s just touching on the games playable on the Xbox 360! Rare’s got so much musical talent, and I can’t wait to hear (hahaha) what’s going to influence the next epic troll-smashing, garden-tending, jiggy-collecting, Tediz shooting, spider-punting classics. Enjoy the weekend, everyone!

Two Rare Disappointments …

2009-02-18T23:43:00.005-05:00

So I’ve neglected the Rare portion of the Blog of Zen, so I’ll get RIGHT back on that. Rare’s made me very happy since the Microsoft move and over the entirety of the last generation (From Star Fox Adventures to Conker: Live & Reloaded) I’ve been completely entertained and my expectations were exceeded far and beyond what I’d have imagined I’d receive. Grabbed by the Ghoulies was my favorite Rare game from that time, Conker was fun to enjoy again in HD and Live, Adventures was epic, and the GameBoy Advance titles were all just as good or better than I had expected them to be. However, a pair of things from the first and last game of the era really rustled my rutabagas:

General Scales: The leader of the Sharpclaw army is as awesomely designed as he was an entertaining enemy. He constantly reminded Fox the planet was in peril, and he’s going to do bloody well everything in his power to prevent the globe’s savior from fixing it. From (probably) disposing of Krystal’s parents, trashing the temples, attacking the other peaceful Dinosaur tribes, and stealing crystals that held Dinosaur Planet together in a crazy power-lust to rule were just some of the more obvious examples of how bad a dude Scales was. At the end of the game, you finally get a chance to challenge the mighty Saurian Warrior- He draws his ornate sword and readies his stance on the battle field only to… Give up his Krazoa Spirit and go away for the floating ape-head from Star Fox 64 can die a quick death (again) and he’s never seen again. BIGGEST LETDOWN EVER RARE!

Putting this into context, imagine if at the end of Banjo-Kazooie Gruntilda was found out by the honey bear to have been a robot. A robot controlled by a four-story fire-breathing elephant named “Moe the Mauler” who’s been jealous of Banjo’s companion, as Moe’s ox picker bird friend is a grumpy chain smoker and just hangs about to pick ticks off Moe’s thick skull. Banjo & Kazooie fight Moe, Moe goes down, and you’re extremely confused and disappointed about not being able to lay down the smack on Grunty who’s tortured, egged you on, and completely turned Banjo’s adventure as tough as possible. Thankfully, I’m sure Rare wouldn’t do something like THAT ever again, right? I wonder why in the world they would completely ruin the ending to such a great game by doing that though?! The other thing that bugged me? Censoring the Great Mighty Poo’s Ballad in Conker: Live & Reloaded, but that’s been explained and made sense as to why they had to do so. Still- I don’t like to censor art… ;) See you lot on Friday!

Coraline is AWESOME.

2009-02-17T00:16:00.002-05:00

OK, so it’s a half hour after Monday but STILL I’ve been VERY busy! MEH. I’d rather be blogging anyway. ;) I thought I’d share “something cool” I was pleased with last weekend:
Valentine’s ROCKED due to She-Zenek being the wonderful woman I’ve always wanted and the killer movie we saw Saturday morning: “Coraline”. I can’t recommend this movie enough- Think Rare quality meets the beautiful stop-motion animation of classics such as Wallace & Gromit and Corpse Bride. I’ve always been totally captivated by stop –motion animation, and this could very well be the best feature length movie produced as such. Top tier character design, gorgeous & slick animation, engaging story and the 3D effects (Yeah, it’s even better in 3D.) made Coraline an instant classic that I’ll always enjoy.

The story starts out with Coraline having to move to a new apartment far away from the home she once knew that’s already shared with some oddballs that lower her expectations of liking her new surroundings even further. She’s not paid attention to, no one listens and everything just isn’t as great as it was. That is, until she stumbles upon a small doorway in the den… No WAY I’d spoil the best “Family Horror” :P movie ever, so get yourselves to the theaters- It’ll still be awesome at home when it DOES come out on DVD, but watching such a great flick in 3D really was the icing on the cake. Just say no to button eyes kids!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

2009-02-13T22:44:00.002-05:00

Seriously, enjoy this time with a crush, family, or your significant other- You only live once, so show someone you care! I’ve got a really fun day planned out for me and She-Zenek. You think after 3 years together I’d not have an E-name for her too? Ha! I’m sure that she’ll see this after our time tomorrow, so here’s a shout-out to the woman who loves me with all of her sweet little heart! Love you baby!

Zenek & She-Zenek will catch an early showing of Coraline 3-D, get an awesome lunch and take the day from there. I’m so cool, I made sure to get some special Valentine’s stuff for my parents, sister & grandpa too! For me, Valentine’s day is about love and that’s not JUST the romantic kind either. I like to take V-Day and make it a day to show the people I care the most about on this rotating mudball how much I love, care for, and appreciate them. Hope you all make out tomorrow! ( I know I will be! RAR!)

Concerns about Halo Wars…

2009-02-11T20:35:00.002-05:00

I can’t help but wonder if the same crew that logged 47 kerjillion hours on Xbox-Live & Halo 3 tagging N00bs with grenades and “stealing kills” will have the same slack-jawed love affair for the first Halo game not produced by Bungie… (Halo 3 rocked by the way) I mean, Ensemble Studios is probably the best Real Time Strategy developer out there, but I just don’t know if the genre’s followers cross over with First Person Shooters or vice-versa as smoothly as Microsoft would like. I’m sure Halo Wars is going to be an excellent strategic online & offline game enhanced by the deep Halo mythos and universe, it’s just that I certainly hope that there’s a TON of white-knuckle action to keep the Halo fans happy. I’m sure that all of the major Halo mainstays are present: Badass Spartan warriors, colorful plasma-based weapons, intelligent & aggressive alien foes, an epic soundtrack, and human Marines that say stupid crap every 12 seconds.

I just get a tingly icky feeling when I remember that Bungie themselves revealed (and complained) that a high percentage of Halo 3 players haven’t even Finished the Fight. Will those who’ve supported the Halo franchise with a strict love of Team Slayer and Matchmaking tweaks get into the micromanagement and scale of Halo Wars? I certainly hope a good chunk of the Halo crowd check out Wars. I’m off to see what Ensemble Studios has cooked up in the demo available on Xbox Live’s Marketplace, and I’ll be sure to let you know what’s what. ;) Rock on, and don’t forget that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner!

WORST WEEK EVER.

2009-02-09T22:41:00.004-05:00

BLERGH… Where to begin, guys? Some of you may have remembered from my main site Rare-Extreme, that I’ve had digestive issues for many years now, and I acquired a HORRIBLELY nasty infection that started to impact me last Monday. I felt some internal pain, but still felt good enough to show off my good taste in comedy and go to work. Tuesday was the beginning of my trip into Hell, as by nightfall I could barely move. I had to rely on my parents to move and bring me food. By Wed, I was in so much pain walking and sitting upright were out of the question. Once I collapsed from my bed during an attempt to trek to the bathroom because the pain was way too severe to try to walk using my own power. After not sleeping for two days because of the intense suffering, I demanded that my arse was taken to the emergency room.

I know most people agree with me here: Hospitals aren’t fun. Here I am, rolling in a wheelchair writhing in wretched pain I’d never wish on anyone EVER, and the silly woman at the counter asked me: “On a scale from 1 (least) to 10 (most) how much pain are you in?”
“25!” -Z
“So, that’s a 10?”
“YES.” -Z >:(
Long story short, they gave me enough pain killing drugs to put a rhino out cold, they took out the infected digestive bit, and that’s why I wasn’t here updating about silly & fun stuff last week.
Suffering like that and relying on those who care about myself made me realize and rethink about the world. This horrible experience has given me a new outlook on life and how I will treat those closest to me: with even more love, care and respect than I already do. Do yourself a favor, and tell those you love and care about that you do so- You never know when you’ll need them to haul your arse to the hospital. ;P AND don’t worry about me guys! Other than having to take an antibiotic pill once a day, I’m 99.9% “normal Zenek”. I’m just happy that gnashing and soul-rending aching is GONE for good! See you on Wednesday people!

And now for something completely different:

2009-02-02T20:03:00.003-05:00

Once in awhile, I’d like to share “Something Cool” with you all that’s genuinely worth sharing. That’s not to say JUST between me and you, but to others who may enjoy “Something Cool”. Heh. The first edition of this feature brings us to the official Monty Python Youtube page:

http://www.youtube.com/user/montypython?blend=1

This is a pristine oasis of geek-type humor and silliness where goofy people like you and I can enjoy the brilliant world that Monty Python lives in. That, and it's all in a nice organized format with crystal clear (not crappy res, mind you) quality and it's updated fairly often with plenty more good stuff. I was introduced to Python when I was young with my favorite MP movie: “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, and if you’ve not seen it, you’ve not experienced the best of British humor. (Or humour, whatever floats you boat.) The Python crew of cross-dressing, silly voiced odd-stepping clever knuckle heads have been giving me the giggles for over a decade, and it’s only because I was introduced by someone who cares about me, my Dad. When you need something off-the-wall silly and you’ve just GOT to get a smile, browse the Python Archives for such classics as “Black Knight”, “Lumberjack Song”, “Stoning”, “The Parrot Sketch”, and “The Knights who say ‘NI!’”. Maybe if you appreciate this extremely silly sort of thing, you can pass it along to someone YOU care about, eh? It’d make their day too, I’d bet. Right! See you on Wed!

*SQUISH*

Of Localization, Pastries and Moles:

2009-01-30T23:00:00.002-05:00

Hope you all have enjoyed your Fridays, and are as ready for the weekend as I am! Now, I wonder if any of you had this same “problem” with Viva Pinata as I did…

Quick: Name everything you can about Profitamoles! They’re yellow, tamed from their nasty Sour forms via Mushrooms, lack proper vision, love to chomp on dirt & Arocknids, and make an adorable “BLEH!” sound. I just couldn’t figure out what the tunneling fellows were named after. Was it that you make some sort of profit because your Diggerling’s waste was cleaned up for you? NOPE. I was informed that Profitamoles are named after the European desert called a “Profiterole” via this video:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/Profiteroles/
Never heard of them before that- I can’t be the only American/Non-European who didn’t know what I profiterole was, can I?! They look yummy through my further research, but being lactose intolerant, I don’t think one of those creamy treats would sit very well. Yuck… Turns out that they even have a chain of restaurants devoted to different kinds of profiteroles too:
http://www.muginohousa.com/index.php
I wonder if Rare had more globally recognizable names in mind for the Pinata Moles, but stuck with what seemed obvious. (If you live on that continent) Have any of you tried a profiterole? Was it good? My lactose intolerance makes me try a wide selection of dairy-free treats, some good like the doughnuts I found at a local health food store, some VILE like this dairy-gluten-wheat-no added sugar-no taste lemon cookie I tried. BLECH. I try to offset the sugary doughnut with some fruit or something. Doesn’t hurt to eat healthier, eh? Enjoy your weekends, friends! See you on Monday!

Neglected Ninjas

2009-01-28T21:41:00.002-05:00

More about me I suppose- 2008 was one awesome year for gaming, and those with a real taste for gaming were truly blessed with a wide load of stuff to sit back and enjoy. I’ve been a much busier man than I’ve been in months and when I DO get some time to fire up a game, it’s one I’ve been playing for a few weeks/months now. At the moment the following titles are fighting tooth & nail for my attention: Gears of War 2, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, Kirby Super Star ULTRAAAA, Spore, Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise, Fable 2, Braid, Castle Crashers, and now the Resident Evil 5 demo…

I can say for the first time in a long time I’m officially back-logged in good games. Not a bad thing, but I tend to space out my gaming sessions and take my time combing the worlds & levels of the software I genuinely enjoy making most of the games listed in the 25-50% finished area. Although I DID beat the classic Super Star! I’ve got so many good games, I’ve still not PLAYED some of the ones I OWN. Yeah, you read that right- I have copies of, but haven’t played Ninja Gaiden 2, Lost Odyssey, Azurik: Prince of something-or-other, Portal (The PC version! I don’t live in a cave!), and Counterstrike for the Xbox. This is a HUGE change from years like 2001 and 2007 that were pretty sparse with the good stuff. Even after this pile of gaming gold, I’ve STILL got myself looking to the future for Halo Wars (Crossing my fingers that it’s good), Resident Evil 5 and Banjo-Tooie. I think I’ve been doing too much of this “work” and not enough playtime with my 360… I’ll be off fixing that, see you Friday! ;)

Good ‘ol Nuts and Bolts

2009-01-26T13:09:00.002-05:00

Happy Monday people! This is the post for those who are still a bit put off by the changes and how conservative N&B really is in comparison to the two previous console outings. Let’s cut to the chase: How Banjo & Kazooie transverse the worlds in Nuts & Bolts is the one and only thing that really jarred the world of Banjo from it’s N64 roots. Putting magical wrenches and mechanics aside; Time to look at what’s familiar to us old-schoolers.

Visually bringing Banjo’s cast into 2008: It HAD to happen, folks. This was a nice re-tooling of the blocky N64 goofballs we all fell in love with in the 90’s, and all of the more important ones are still here. Klungo, Mumbo, Bottles, Humba, etc. They’re just HD-ized. It was pretty funny introducing my sister to N&B as she’s a big Banjo fan herself. After seeing Banjo, she asked me “What the Hell is that thing on Banjo’s head?” I never noticed, but I guess that Rare’s giving their honey bear a DK type hairstyle. ;P

Music: Listen about, and you can see how musically conservative the composer was. Think about it. Remixed themes had to have been used to help the older fans feel more at home. It worked very well for me on the many Grunty battles… (I NEED that MP3!)

BIG LEVELS: The biggest in Rare’s history! They’re also in that realistic style that the Banjo universe’s always seen- notice how no one’s complained about the level design? ;)

“Kazooie’s Moves”: Loose the mole hills, and you’re essentially doing the same thing as going about the game and learning new moves to tackle the environment. The difference is that you’re given the moves, and you must use them in your own way with no training & jokes about large glasses.

These are just a few of the more IN YOUR FACE examples of how Nuts & Bolts’ other elements were played bit by bit from the classic Banjo titles so we wouldn’t feel so alienated by the ability to play in anyway we saw fit. Speaking of “fit”, how’d Mr. Fit make the cut of returning characters? Most people barely remembered him from Tooie… I think he’s a very cool choice to bring back and make more enjoyable though. More importantly, I’ve got to grab some lunch, print some important work papers, GO to work, and enjoy that Resident Evil 5 demo that just hit Xbox Live today. I’m so busy… See you Wed!

WELCOME to the Blog of Zen!

2009-01-23T14:28:00.003-05:00

Welcome one and all to the Blog of Zen: the place where I can stand on my soapbox and yell to all of my best E-friends from Rare-Extreme, Rare, other MyStErIoUs PlAcEs, and in meat-space. The reason I’ve started this abomination is to share more about who I am, my thoughts on the Universe’s going-ons, and my daily life (No matter how boring/exciting that may be!)
Here’s the low-down: I’ll be updating this place three times a week, and with something hopefully someone can enjoy and maybe take something from. Mondays Wednsays and Fridays will see the regurgitated knowledge, feelings, and dorking out of yours truly on topics that include but aren’t limited to: Rareware (DUH), Gaming, My life experiences, Ranting on stuff that’s important, Movies, Politics, Geek things, Major world events, Cool stuff, and Yam farming.

Since this is an introduction: I’d be happy to tell you a bit about myself: I’m a 21 year old American dude who’s a native of Florida and still enjoys the tropics. (Although it’s like 21 degrees now, and it SUCKS I work locally, and I help Rare and their oldest fansite “Rare-extreme.com” out when I can I’ve been called friendly, funny, and many nasty names over Xbox Live- Wonder who’s right? Where does the name “Zenek” come from? What do I look like? Will you give me a few bucks to split some Chinese food? It’s beef-stick and it’s good!...
Keep it tuned for more Blog of Zen, and on Monday I’ll get right to the main course and talk about one of the major topics that’s been on most Rare fan’s minds: Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts. I’ll be taking the game apart to show how conservative Rare really was in the creation of the game, building square helicopters aside. Hope to see you there!

-Zenek